Here’s an old gem from 2003(?) that I made when I was still working with Nieratko (under our Freshkills imprint). It was a pilot for a dating show on BET (a program that would later be rechristened Hell Date). It was done super cheap and without much time for editing but I still think it’s pretty funny…since it’s so stupid (and at least more entertaining than what they eventually turned the show into–common with pilots, since they’re done before the committees come in and screw everything up). watch and judge for yourselves. and feel free to send comments, complaints, questions, etc.
the other day, over at the village, walked by the place that we got kicked out of when we were making this gem. all on account of strickland stealing all that booze. f-ed up the whole program. then we had to brave the cold. and i had to listen to a bunch of crybabies talking ’bout, “i cain’t feel my toes” the rest of the production. whole thing was miserable. how you gonna steal the liquor from a place that’s letting you shoot in their premises for free…’specially when they gonna have an open bar later that night?!?
i love my friends.
j. tried to play it off, “i didn’t steal no ‘liks.”
old barmaid, “see that little camera up there above the hennesey sign? i was watching you down in the office on the monitor through that camera… so uh, yeah.”
the other funny thing about this little shoot was sayyid saying he hadn’t never heard about pencil fighting before and thought it was corny, and that it wasn’t hood enough. believe that? pencil fighting not hood enough?!
maybe it was a regionally specific pastime…
–moni moni (TROAE) (July 2009)
This "school" would have been for real and f-ing brilliant if a certain Zut Zut sponsor didn’t drop the ball (or should i say their skinny can of liquid crack). and while we’re on the subject, why is it that all the people at that particular Droge Firma come from the gawt awful raver glow stick pacifier world, and damn near all of ‘em have serious substance abuse problems?! weird. oh well. beat lab. woulda been great if they woulda done did it, rather than just bit it and made Dante mad pissded.
it’ll teach you how to fly around the world for free…spit-roast the capitalist pigs…and eventually stop global warming.
your seeds will thank me one day.
First off, this is my first “blog” ever. Might be my last. Who knows? Reason being I have a serious problem with all this “look at me! Check out how important and fly and fresh and cool I am” nonsense that goes on in our culture nowadays. Look, nobody cares what party you were at last night. First you gotta ack’, THEN you gotta act. Where’s the concrete shit? A lot of talk, but not a lot of walk in our world today. Fools typing away while staring real hard at their own crotch vicinity. Something seriously sick about that. But hey, Dante asked me to do this, and I owe him a solid for stealing a certain girl from me a long time ago, so I’m sort of obliged.
So, ‘ere we go.
ME ME ME ME ME! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!
Just got back from a two-week trip around Europe. And was violently sick the whole time. Still am. (Why the fuck am I writing and not sleeping?) That’s the crux of the whole problem: Staying up too late and getting up too early. Never resting and acting like an idiot. 24-7. Not a good schedule. And the shit caught up with me. I played the dice, and now I’m paying the price. Have pneumonia or something, coughing like a dying dog with nothing coming up. As the great George Jefferson said, “Wheezy!” Feels like there’s water in my lungs and no amount of medicine is making me feel better. Wah wah wah! :’(
I know nobody cares (Fuck it, let’s be real, nobody is even reading this—Again, Seriously, blogs? Get out of here.) But guess what? I care. It’s my “entry”. And I could be dying. So fuck off, let me mutter. Pete “Dogshit” Dossett didn’t dub me ‘Cry’n Moan-a-lot’ for nothing.
Okay, anyway, like i said above, this blog shite is all about shameless self-promotion, right? So back to ME!… This is why I’ve been in Europe and why I’ve been letting myself get dangerously near Heath (didn’t know the) Ledger territory.
1st stop the Untitled-Documents show at Bread and Butter in Barcelona of which I was asked to participate. More washed-up skaters, graphic design nerds and middle-aged graf writers pretending to be “artistes” or some nonsense. So, of course I took part. They’re selling my “art” for 2000 Euros. Fucking brilliant! Who wouldn’t want to get in on that action?! Templeton, Rose, Mills, you better watch yourselves.
The KDU put this up and here’s the Untitled-Documents link where you can buy the t-shirt. (Gotta love the German work ethic - turning everything and anything into an extra few Pfennigs. ) Speaking of t-shirts, the other reason I was in Barcelona was the debut of a REAL art project: my bandwagon boarding new t-shirt line:…a t-shirt company for people who are sick of all these stupid t-shirt companies (on display at The KDU booth–thanks Gensy- but no, I won’t be voting for your “experienced” Witch and check out George Carlin for a taste of what I think about voting ). Okay, what we’re we talking about?
YES!!! t-shits. Bringing it back to the essence. Plain t-shirts with simple, straightforward, no-bullshit messages (okay, maybe a little bullshit). Check ‘em out. Don’t be a herb. Get yours before they’re played out.
Response? Euro-peons were really feeling the onesies. Odd, given that the pale-faced Euro’s don’t even have kids anymore. In fact, in a lot of Euro-Cuntries, they give “whiteys” cold hard cash, just to make babies. Serious. They’re really worried that the so-called white race (of which there’s really no such thing—social invention, not a biological fact) is dying. I say “good”. Die Whitey, Die! But on the neo-realism, if i wasn’t already taken, and I likededed me some snowflake Euro bird? I’d a been gone to France to make seeds already. Get some loot for procreating. Crazy. Sure, more “White privilege” in full effect. But hey, making money for rubbing tummies? Brilliant. Plus you could get some EU love and probably start making real money with a green card or something ’stead of being stuck with this monopoly money the US dollar is currently turning in to.
All righty. Enough social commentary. Just order some damn t-shits and your life will get better instantly. You’ll get play. You’ll get compliments. You might even get punched in the grill!!! I promise.
Okay, aside from the Untitled thing, and my life-altering t-shits, Bread and Butter was basically a trade show full of dickheads whom you wouldn’t want to hang out with in a million years. All the shit about how Euros dress better than everyone else can be quickly dismissed after 5 seconds of witnessing this crowd. Bottom line is people under 60 dress like shit everywhere in the world nowadays. And “street-wear” is just another word for butt-fucking-ugly.
Next Stop: Venezia, Italia
By now I was just getting sicker by the minute. Which really sucked, because not only was I traveling with my good friends Kalindi and Saurabh the Soapman, but the city was virtually tourist free this time of year, plus we were staying at my friends’ Wolfgang and Marie’s palazzo (that means palace in Italian, dummy). And as is commonly the case with palazzo’s, the spot was sweet.
Here’s the bathroom, designed and built by Marie:
And here’s a Venetian mosquito that probably bit my ass while I was trying to sleep off my sickness adding a new strain of virus to my already death-tickling disease.
From Venice I went to Amsterdam to meet up with my old skate comrades DJ Clyde (old school Alva rider cum DJ/stylist dude, not to mention the most well-connected ex-dread in Amsterdam) and Robert Boerleider (the king of continental comedy, the Guinness Book Record holder for the world’s longest drop-in, and most importantly Slammy’s hip-pad founder and president—Tony Hawk used to ride for him, for realski). Here’s Boerleider’s blog in Dutch—a language that no one, not even the Dutch, speak anymore. And here’s his head-shot (oh yeah, Boerleider’s also an actor/social critic/solo world-traveler)
Seriously, one of the funniest people alive.
So Amsterdam? Clyde was DJing at the Dutch version of Fashion Week (of course). Nothing much to say there that I haven’t already said (see above: i.e., people dressing like shit) besides maybe the fact that everyone in this city still smokes. Fashion weak meets fashion wreak. But that shit is getting cut real quick, so no more stinking threads in the Netherlands’ near future, thank Allah. If you scroll down to the bottom of this page you’ll find an awful picture of ME! looking like a corpse after I just about puked from 2ndHS hell, bad fashion and just plain being sick as shit already in the first place.
And Boerleider? Just going on and on about drinking snake blood and eating dogs during a recent trip to Cambodia. He’s got footy. He made me watch it. Repeatedly.
He likes traveling around the world by his lonesome. Said that his lawyer told him, given his personality, that it’s the only way he should (and probably could) travel. Now if he could just learn how to hold his camera straight, maybe, just maybe, he could turn all of this into some sort of a show. Comedic genius brewing? Time will only tell.
After A’dam, Paris. Took a bus for some stupid reason (see head-shot above). Boredom through Belgium.
But then arrived in the City of Lights.
Met up with my wonderful Ex, Mebrak Tareke. Here are some retro-modeling shots of Ms. Tareke before she quit the stupid fascism, oops, I mean fashion bullshit, and started translating and writing for UNESCO and AFP (she has a Masters from London School of Economics-out of our league fellas, sorry.)
So civilized to have such a strong friendship with someone you used to exchange fluids with. Makes me feel, dare I say, grown up. Weird. But good fun hanging out with Ms. Tareke. We went and saw Ken Loach’s most recent film-“It’s a Free World”. Sort of bland, but not without its moments of great acting…but then again forced dialogue—basically typical Loach. Important subject matter shoved down your throat with minimal flavor. Like going out for dinner to a vegan restaurant. Mebrak was more forgiving, having had similar experiences growing up as an immigrant in dusty ass London. So maybe I’m being a bit harsh.
Next day hung out with Thomas, French Fred and Leo at ill-studio and discussed plans for building our online media empire. Shit’s gonna be big-you heard it here first. And these guys really are ill. Then again, I was too. And next thing you know I was heavily medicating myself for a flight back to JFK. Got back just in time to shoot the new Jean Grae video for her track “Love Thirst” off her upcoming Blacksmith LP release “Jeanius” . The video is going to be a special Valentine’s Day release, which means probably a March 1st release (set your clock to hip hop time)…stay tuned. In the meantime, think you can go to www.okayplayer.com and scroll down to the Feb. 1st entry to see some stills from the shoot. Jean’s looking real sexy in this one people. So just keep ice in the area. And quick note to all the inevitable “Jean sold out, using her body to push her records. Say it ain’t so, Greasy, say it ain’t so!!!” Relax, it’s a tongue in cheek commentary on all the stupid messages she gets from her horny My Space “friends”. I’ll explain in more detail once the video is finished and released (once the critics rev up to full bitch and moan mode). Okay, think that’s all for now. I’ll be back…unless I die from this bug. In the meantime, check out our film company’s site www.bricolagista.com
And in case you haven’t heard, check out www.ilovetshits.com
And stay tuned for that Jean Grae video. Blue flame shit. Coming soon. So yo, Dante, is this good enough for the bloggery?