SQUEEGEEMEN NEVER LEFT NYC, THEY JUST SELL CDs NOW
This dude is probably selling his new mixtape in the hood somewhere.
If you’ve never seen them, it’s because you moved to NYC after Rudy Giuliani turned Brooklyn into Nebraska East. If you’ve always lived in the city, they never affected you because chances were you didn’t own a car. But for those of us from Long Island, Westchester, NJ and the outer reaches of NYC, Squeegeemen were a part of life every time we drove to the city. A known hotspot was the foot of the Willis Avenue Bridge in the South Bronx, by the Mitchel Projects. Me and my pops would be driving into the city, and if we got caught at a red light, it was a wrap. They’d bum rush the car to clean the windows -even though we never asked for it- and demand money when it was done. My pops was a goon with that, he’d usually just drive off, damn near runnin em over like “thanks for the wash fellas”. They were usually flat broke and just trying to get some money, but they could be a pain in the ass and Giuliani eventually shut that shit down in the late 90’s. But Giuliani’s bitch ass failed to crack down on an even more menacing rodent of forced commerce…the hip-hop entrepreneur peddling his crap shit trash CD in front of the record stores.
In the beginning, it wasn’t all that bad. The street peddler OG’s were cool and sometimes actually had good music to sell. I was always a huge fan of Percee P growing up. Every cameo he did, he stole the song. So when I met him selling his CD’s hand to hand in front of Fat Beats Record Store (on 6th Ave), it was a pleasure. Percee was always good for an interesting conversation and his product was good, so people respected him. He was never rude, and if you chose not to buy a CD off of him, you weren’t in for a 2 block chase. Same went for some of the other OG’s that would be out there. But damn, the economy has brought out the roaches. In the last few years, walking in front of Virgin Megastore could have you mixed up in a brawl. Another shitty 72 dpi artwork on typing paper CD cover with 35 “freestyles” over whatever Just Blaze beats were hot at the time on a Dynex CD-R with sharpie writing on it being pushed on every single passer by with brute force. It usually starts like this…
“Yo fam! (I ignore him) Yo! Fam! (I ignore him again) Yo money, I’m talkin to you! (now he’s blocking my path so I can’t walk. You‘d think I was a fly bitch with a fat donkey ass or sumthin’. These are old school broad-pulling tactics). Yo, I’m sayin, you like hip-hop?”
“Nah I don’t fuck with it” (thinking this will deter this dude that chose to wear a South Pole coat dead in the middle of August).
“Nah, but you’ll like my shit. I got a 16 bar freestyle over that Jay-Z beat” (like he outdid Jay-Z)
Of course, I try everything in the book to politely tell this crumb to push on. My tape walkman doesn’t convince him that I don’t have a CD player. He doesn’t believe me when I tell him I have no money. I told him I don’t like hip-hop already, but being that I’m young, Black and not dressed for Wall St., he’s convinced I’m lying about not liking hip-hop. Of course he doesn’t even have a discman for me to listen to his hood karaoke (that just might be good), but he feels I should buy it off the strength without a listen, because it’s “real hip-hop” and he’s…him? At this point, I’d rather hear Gene Autry than some “real hip-hop”, but he won’t give up (meanwhile tons of well-dressed 20 something’s who may have some real money are passing by). So after 30 seconds of haggling and blocking my path, I push him out of my way, and now he’s ready to scrap.
“Yo all I asked for is your support, and now I gotta fuck you up my nigga!” Whatever. After a bunch of “I’m from uptown” trash talk and doing nothing, we get separated by his boys and I go about my business. Although that was the only near fight, this damn near mating call happened just about every time I dared pass a Virgin Megastore in the city. I even tried to fake like I was talking on my cel phone or I’d actually make a call to seem occupied, but it was useless. They would still come at me with that bullshit and interrupt my conversation.
I even got recognized as J-Zone once (how homeboy knew, I‘ll never know), which was a tough one to get out of. It got so bad that I’d wrap around 13th St. or 43rd St. just to avoid passing a record store. Nobody is gonna deter me from my path as a grown man, but the hassle was such a pain in the ass, I swallowed my pride.
Now that both Virgin Megastores (and all the chains) closed, the crap peddlers have moved back into their own neighborhoods. Even worse for me, I live and work around most of them. I never in my life thought I’d get approached in Rochdale Village Queens with one of these 72 dpi artwork, Dynex CD-R with the sharpie on the label mini-Frisbees when I was out getting my Grandmother some oatmeal at 8AM on a Sunday. Sure enough, I did. I never thought I’d hear “yo fam, real hip-hop, real hip-hop” walking around before work in downtown Hempstead, Long Island. But yea, the rap squeegee men are indeed out hustlin on the corner of N. Franklin & Fulton Streets.
This is why rap is a joke, and with shit like this going on, I‘m almost embarrassed to say I was (and half still am) a part of it. Now these clowns have an option to really live out their “rap game to crack game” fantasies the easy (and annoying) way. But you don’t see drug dealers pushin up on strangers looking for business too often. Even the bootleggers selling tapes in the early 90’s didn’t do that. Putting your music out to the world was once a privilege, earned by a long process of honing skills and working hard, with the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow being an official release that you could be proud of, whether independently or on a label. OK, we’ve eliminated the boardroom, the pressing plants and the labels, but we’ve also eliminated quality control. You also don’t see artists in other genres of music do this dumb shit. The jazz musicians just post up in a train station and jam, leaving a tip box if you choose to donate. At least you get to hear some music and to pay em is your prerogative. They just keep jamming. Rock musicians sell their shit at SHOWS. Yeah, shows. Did you ever try to get one of those Mr. Virgin Megastore hustler, or do you demand a 4 digit figure being you’re the second coming of Tupac? Even the dancers on the train, they’ll give you a show, so I‘ll kick in a dollar or two sometimes. But rap is the only genre that exhibits this ghetto entrepreneurship by force and I can‘t even test the product half of the time. Everybody wants to be like Master P, E-40 or Too $hort with the "out the trunk hustlin" approach, but they did this 20-25 years ago when it hadn’t been done, so change your campaign, Einstein. The whole idea of being involved in the rap game feels like a joke when you see where its gone, and all of the talented hard working people that actually make music for a CAREER -or even the rap street peddlers that are polite and have some talent- will unfairly get nailed with the stigma of how corny this shit is. You may as well just panhandle and quit fuckin up the game by involving some cheap ass CD. Does EVERYBODY have to be an artist for a career? Everybody? And if you choose to, can you start by making a more presentable product? Yeah, you know, like no 72 dpi art, no CD-R single laser burns and some ORIGINAL music, not another damn mixtape? How about learning some people skills first? That may be a good idea Mr. Weed Dealer Turned Second Coming of Tupac.
I would say to all these cats, get a fuckin job, but that’s easier said than done in 2009. OK fine, as fucked up as this may sound, go back to drug dealing y’all. Because if somebody wants some weed, they’ll come find you. I’d rather pay for a Squeegeeman to do my windshield than support behavior that further adds to the laughable state of something that was once a privilege to say you did.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:22 am
Yo i feel you on that..I used to work on avenue of americas on 46th street. and i would go to times square occasionally for lunch..I would get bombarded with cd hustlers..now, im not one to knock anyone’s hustle, but your absolutley right about this..i got into a situation once before..when this kat was selling his cd..i acted like i couldnt hear him while i was jamming to my music in my headphones..he cut in front of me, so i took off my headphones and he asked if i liked hip hop..i asked him if he had any jazz cd’s(lol) of course he said no, and asked if i can help support a struggling artist..So i said not really because at the time i was a struggling employee.(lol) so he called me a bitch ass nigga…lol
i just put my headphones back on and continued about my biz..while he was talking @%$%
Now if he was promoting his music creatively i may have supported because i have a passion for creative marketing..but of course he didnt..
most of the kats out there hustling cd’s are not truly artist..they are around the corner rappers thinking they are entrepreneurs with a heavy lack of people skills.( NOT ALL OF THEM THOUGH)telling their boyz..they gonna make money out there selling to tourist…
I once purchased a cd from a kat..that freestyled for me..actually i didnt even pay for the cd..he liked my tie..and asked if i would trade it..so i did…even though my tie costed me about $25…but his freestyle and his sincerity overwhelmed me..
i wouldnt say that rap is a joke..I honestly think there are too many other things that link to this behavior…
I wish the black communities really wake up..and reevaluate our culture..
Money..Clothes…and Hoes…all a nigga knows..a foolish pleasure,whatever..BIGGIE SMAILLS…
July 21st, 2009 at 8:02 am
prob the best shit you wrote thus far.
too funny but sadly true.
brogging 4 rife lord.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:47 am
I agree with Choi, one of your best posts. So many points here that I could write pages and pages of commentary on.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:48 am
I work in times square currently. Every day I gotta tell these fools I don’t like hip-hop. I wear jordans and fitteds and what not so I always get some condescending response like, “oh whatever dude, you look like you like real hip-hop, guess not…” I used to feel a little bad on some not ‘respecting their hustle’ type shit, so I’m glad you feel the same as I do.
I also gotta deal with the stand-up comedy guys. There’s a group who chill on the NW corner of 42nd and 7th who’ll just ask if you like black people instead of saying stand-up comedy. It was sort of funny the first time, but it’s been like 18 months now.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:34 am
Yo Zone why don’t you just take some of your secret beats and read your posts in rhythm on them ?
(crappy attempt of pushing J-Zone to get back on the mic)
July 21st, 2009 at 11:51 am
I’m from CT and I go to the city occasionally and have run into these fools a few times. Once, I was with my girl near MSG in the winter time, and I was approached by a dude. “Yo my man, check this out!” Now I don’t particuarly dress very hip hop, and at that time I had a shaggy beatles-esque haircut, so I was a bit surprised to be bombarded like this.
When I say bombarded, I mean bombarded. Dude, just came out of a crevice, and squared up in front of me with his lil speaker from his mp3player/phone shoving it in my face.
What really sucked is that my girl is on the naive/generous side and would be all pissy at me if I just cold dissed him and ignored him or told him I wasn’t interested. She knows I love hip hop, and knows I don’t really get down on mainstream type of shit but she doesn’t really know the difference.
So between his ruthlessness, and my girl giving me the ” why not? give it a try” look, I had his little speaker pressed against my ear, in the middle of Manhattan with traffic and all that noise. I might as well have been listening to a recording of farts over a snare, I couldn’t hear shit, and didn’t want to anyways, and whatever I did hear was garbage dime a dozen wanna be rap star shit.
So he had his cds, the style that Zone described, and he named the price or whatever and at that point I cut the bullshit and was like, “Nah I’m good, we gotta go”. He didn’t persist too much so we got away without further harrasment. What a wasted minute of my life.
As we’re walking away, my girl is all,” Was it any good? You shoulda bought one.” Shut the fuck up, please. You don’t know shit. HAHAHA I obviously didnt say that but was thinking it loud and clear.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:55 am
BY THE WAY- I fucking hate people who listen to music on their phones speakers, on the bus/train, at Mcdonalds or whatever. It’s always something whack as fuck anyways, but its pure fucking treble and all you can hear is a distorted ass snare.
It’s always like 2 or more people (cuz if they were alone they would have headphones). It’s so obnoxious. Thats it. PEACE!
July 21st, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Like my own little personal view of New York.
I google earthed some of the spots mentioned.
We don’t have that shit out here, just bad traffic. Nobody really “holding down” Newport Beach these days, ‘cept me..Ya’ll want to buy some beats?
July 21st, 2009 at 2:21 pm
guns and butter!
July 21st, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Zone -
The worst was when I’d go into the record stores with my record bag. They’d blast me for buying records inside but not their stuff. And god forbid if they recognized me, and started talking about tracks I played on my show, but wouldn’t give their stuff any love.
It’s one thing if you are at a show. Most of the NYC “underground” massive used to go to each other shows and sell CD’s hand to hand while people were walking out. These were artists you saw performing around the circuit anyways and had a following.
These cats that you are describing, I don’t know who the f–k they are, and 99/100 of their CD’s are garbage. I used to get bad / wack rap music for free from the labels, what makes them think I was going to pay for wackness I could get for free?
July 21st, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Obama was right. Not everybody can be Lil Wayne or LeBron James. I’m tired of hearing “buy my cd its my only way to get out the hood and feed my seed”. Fuckouttahere. People got out the hood before rap was around with other things, I don’t wanna hear that shit. Play an instrument or something, set up some turntables in front of Virgin…give me a damn show. Or like Pop said, be creative in your approach. Guerilla tactics only make me wanna support you less.
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:20 am
and these are nothin more than demos. sellin demos was a no no back in the day.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:37 am
Great fucking points, J. Best stuff I read all week.
July 28th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Great stuff, J.
August 13th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Well done sir.
xo
August 19th, 2009 at 2:22 am
I must admit, I did buy two of those CDs when I was in New York (one at Union Square, one at the Nice&Smooth concert). I chose to do so purely on a “support a struggling artist” level - but to my excuse, I wasn’t aware that it was a rapant phenomenon.
What however got to me, that the dudes thought they could get like $15. back in the days - as much as I remember - a mixtape was $10. I don’t see why I should pay more for a demo today - screw inflation.
anywho, after I did buy the cd at the nice&smooth show, louis (of logic) did give me a verbal bashing and questioned my intellect…
August 19th, 2009 at 2:24 am
oh, and I think lou and I did put on the first one for like 20 seconds - it sucked badly. I never listened to the second cd and I don’t even know where it is…