(BY FAR) THE GREATEST ALBUM COVER OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!
I had to post this in response to my man Dante who did an entry about the worst rap album covers of all time. Let’s be positive, what about the BEST album cover of all time, in ANY genre? We’ve got a winner…
TOP DOG: SLAM DUNK ‘N’ HOES. Period.
Sorry Pink Floyd, Sorry The Beatles. You lost.
Man. I’ve seen some great photoshop finesse and some classy design in my day, but this album cover, I believe, is the cake taker. And its fitting because we’re in the NBA Finals. I used to look at old Master P/No Limit covers and Cash Money Records Covers and marvel at how the bottles of Moet were larger than the automobiles the dudes were standing next to. Then there was the Big Bear cover, on which the rapper (Big Bear) is puffing on Cuban cigars (alongside real bears) and Doin Thangs (he gets second place).
But now we have a new champ, and his name is Top Dog. Hilarious album title and sheer boldness aside, just take a look at some of the classic goofs that unintentionally make this an amazing piece of art that negates the debate of the music being good or not (it is actually very entertaining and any album featuring Ganksta Nip is worth your time, I promise).
First off, I know we all want to avoid a lawsuit. But if your name is Top Dog, I would assume money ain’t a thang. Blurring out the face of the girl that has just been tossed from Magic Johnson to Kareem for the two handed slam dunk -possibly in fear of the girl suing- gives us that nice 72 dpi photoshop touch that is rarely seen in todays world of artsy fartsy pencil drawn pre-k art class dreck and over budget pastelle colored high end rif raf. The girl looks to be screaming for her life beneath that blur, but it’s just too late. She’s gonna get hurt, and the basket is good! AND 1!!! She even has her hand out to brace her fall on the hard Staple Center floor.
Next, we have the fiberglass backboard, through which you can see broad daylight. It’s obviously a picture clipped from a playground backboard during daylight, but where Top Dog is, it looks to be late evening. I mean the skyline says about 7:27 PM PDT- if its spring or fall, which I assume it is by how he’s dressed- but the sky seen through the backboard says high noon.
Also, Top Dog seems to be floating like Clyde "The Glide" Drexler, but in street clothes. DO YOU KNOW how difficult it is to fly in for a 2 handed dunk with a girl in your arms and wearing Gabardines, a pair of gators and a blazer?! Try this in the dunk comp on All-Star Weekend and you’ll get 10’s across the board! BUT WAIT!!!! Judges must disqualify!!! This dude is cheatin’! He’s clearly standing on a wooden plank, which is oddly dead smack in the middle of the skyline! This is way too much! I mean how can you all really sit up here and give Dark Side Of The Moon or Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band the accolades of best album artwork when this man is multi-tasking under a 2 tone skyline?!
Whether this cover makes you sigh, cringe, laugh uncontrollably (me) or just look in disbelief…it really IS Top Dog and he really IS Slam Dunk’n Hoes. If only all music today was this fun. Support this man!!!!
J-Zone
July 14th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
It’s been a long time since a hip hop cover made me laugh so hard… the last one to do that was the cover for Pimp Playa Hustlas only album ( the group with the wheeelchair guy) .
His vertical leap is amazing.
August 4th, 2009 at 9:56 am
One other really nice touch there is the fact that it’s a Limited Edition release. Clearly this is something that all Top Dog collectors will need to snap up with a quickness before stocks run out. Because once these are gone, people — they’re gone!
For further & similar amusement, check the Captain Save ‘Em cover here; the album is called “My Cape Is In The Cleaner’s”:
http://cdonlinerack.com/images/captainsaveem.jpg
August 4th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Captn Save Em is another brilliant cover. The south definitely wins the crown for the best album covers.
August 4th, 2009 at 10:36 am
And the west coast (I think Capn Save Em was from the bay)
October 18th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
god damn hilarious. another key point here is that the honey’s body is clearly escaping THROUGH the net. She went through the hoop, but is popping out what appears to be behind the strings. BITCH CAN’T BE CONTAINED!!